According to recent estimates, the average person checks their phone anywhere from 80 to 200 times a day (something like every 10 minutes). That seems pretty over the top in some ways, but you can see how quickly it can add up, especially with notifications and other ways in which our phones can demand our attention. Numerous studies have examined connections between hours of digital media use and various aspects of well-being, including physical and mental health (such as lower physical activity, eye strain, posture issues, depression, anxiety and social isolation), so it’s something we need to stay aware of in our own lives as well as our children’s.
Even the US Surgeon General put out a youth mental health social media advisory last year so it only makes sense that parents should be concerned, and thinking about how technology and social media are impacting upon their lives and those of their family members. The report claims that “up to 95 per cent of youth ages 13 to 17 are using social media, with more than a third reporting using it “almost constantly” and “nearly 40 per cent of children ages 8 to 12” also using it. The report is clear that there are risks and benefits, and that these are shaped by complex factors related to age, developmental stage, time and exposure to various platforms, the content they are exposed to, and the interactions they are having with others online. For example, concerns have been raised about the neurocognitive impact as well as risks for depression and anxiety. Combine that with changes to the quality of play, parent-child interactions, academic outcomes, executive functioning, language acquisition and sleep, in addition to compromised privacy and exposure to unsafe content, and you have your worries cut out for you.
Obviously, technology and social media have both positive impacts (educational and relational) and negative (taking away time from real life) and, like most things, are likely best enjoyed wisely and in moderation, but how do you determine what is problematic? Well, this is where it gets complicated for researchers, as the metrics of analysis are diverse. It depends on: your age and developmental stage (for example, adolescence is a particularly vulnerable period of brain development and is a time when social media exposure is increased); the rules of social media in one’s particular household (let’s not forget that parents can sometimes have difficulties setting boundaries with their own devices); and differences in children’s individual strengths/vulnerabilities based on cultural, historical and socio-economic factors. For example, children growing up in unsafe neighbourhoods are more likely to be encouraged to stay inside and interact with technology, than to play outside; it’s important to remember that not all playing fields are level.
FIRST, the developmental stage is key: The World Health Organization recommends no screens for kids under two years, and less than an hour a day for kids ages two to five. However, not all screen time is created equal; face time with a distant grandparent should not be in the same category as watching The Wiggles on YouTube. For example, although a meta-analysis by University of Calgary Professor Sheri Madigan and colleagues found that, while longer durations of screen use were negatively associated with child language acquisition and developmental trajectories, high-quality screen viewing (i.e. educational content, co-viewing with caregivers) was positively associated with child language skills. Her study found that part of the negative impact came from decreased quality-time with caregivers.
Second, context is everything: We need to think about frequency, quantity, and duration of use for young people. We hear a lot about Internet Addiction and other terms, but I prefer to think about ‘problematic use’ – often defined as excessive or beyond the individual’s control. We also need to think about ‘how’ social media is being used. Is it simple, harmless escapism or is it being used to shut out difficult emotions? The nature of young people’s dependency is revealed by seeing the impact problematic use is having on their lives. For example, is there a complete preoccupation with screen time/device use that makes it feel like the person doesn’t have control over their usage (for example, do they seem to have the inability to stop using it, show symptoms of withdrawal without it, or a loss of interest in their normal everyday activities)? More importantly, are you seeing any impact on their health, relationships, or other functioning (such as suddenly doing poorly at school)?
Working with and teaching your kids: When children are younger, we get to make the decisions for them. As kids get older, however, it’s important to take a more collaborative, problem-solving approach. Enter in to a dialogue with young people about what games they are playing (are they solitary or online with others? Are they social, strategic, or violent?) or the types of social media they are engaging with (TikTok, Instagram, Snapchat). Ask them about what the draw is for them. Why do they play or scroll? What are they getting out of it? I always think it’s important to understand a behaviour fully before trying to change it. Is this how your child is self-regulating (is gaming a calming distraction? Or a way towards avoidance)? Is this how your child is socializing (are they playing online with their friends as opposed to hanging out in chat rooms with strangers)? Are they using the information from social media to compare themselves to others (risks of eating disorders and other disordered ways of thinking about oneself and one’s appearance)?
Digital media literacy: Can your kids articulate the pros and cons of social media to you? Do they understand that certain things are fake? Have they considered who is making the videos or the articles they are watching/reading? Have they critically evaluated if the sources of their information are trustworthy? For example, when looking at images, ask them to describe what filters are in use. Ask them why people would consider using filters. What is the purpose of them? This helps us see our kids as educated consumers as opposed to hapless victims. When your kids can tell you the tricks that others use, you have a window to ask if they have ever used them. This can lead to discussions about why they use them. Is it just fun and experimentation, or are they really insecure about themselves? I mean, I think we can all agree that when our kids use a filter that gives them bunny ears and whiskers, they don’t really wish they looked like that all the time.
How the media is being used: Are your kids streaming for hours as part of a school project and connection to group work, or are they playing a solitary game for hours that interferes with homework and sleep. It might still be the same amount of hours – but these two uses of technology are contextually different.
The pros:
- Opportunities for positive community and connection with others who share identities, abilities, and interests
- Access to important information and a space for self-expression and creativity
- Ways to form and maintain friendships online and, in many cases, expands the options for friendships and introduces more diversity in terms of social support which can provide an excellent buffer for young people who are marginalized (such as racial, ethnic, sexual, and gender minorities)
- Adolescents report that social media helps them feel more accepted and that they have a place for support, connection and creativity
- A terrific gateway for young people to seek help, and may assist with initiating mental health care – for example, at Wood’s Homes we have text and live chat options to get mental health support seven days a week
The cons:
- Social media has been directly linked to increases in depression for young people, specifically connected to the number of hours spent online; many successful treatment programs for depression recommend reducing online time significantly, sometimes even entirely, for certain amounts of time to get young people back to baseline levels of anxiety/depression
- The biggest concerns, of course, have been cyber-bullying (which has sadly been linked with suicidal ideation and attempts, as well as self-harm behaviours), ‘hate-based content,’ body image and disordered eating behaviours, and poor sleep
- On the extreme end of concerns are self-harming and predatory sexual exploitation content
- Overuse – all of these sites are set up to maximize user engagement; they use tools such as push notifications, auto play, and quantifying the popularity of content (such as Likes) to keep users coming back for more and capitalizing on FOMO the ‘fear of missing out;’ some of them are designed to be punitive to users who don’t engage at the required levels (I mean, even my Duolingo language app sends me threatening messages about losing my learning streak!)
But all is not lost; while giving up technologically isn’t exactly realistic in our overly connected world, it doesn’t have to take over our lives. There is something we can do about it. Experts suggest we can be mindful of our use of devices – even reducing screen time by an hour a day can increase productivity and improve sleep. They even suggest that teaching our kids how to self-regulate around their own use is more valuable than trying to directly impose limits.
What can we do about it: Smartphones themselves provide an interesting solution, as there are apps that can keep you focused and prevent you from visiting certain websites during certain times of the day. Your phone will also report your screen time, and you can use the ‘do not disturb’ feature or airplane mode. Recently, while on sabbatical, I learned how to turn off all my notifications (sad that it’s taken this long), but I can’t tell you what a huge difference it made in my quality of life. No wonder we feel harried; we are trying to do something, and our phone is inundating us with new information. No wonder we struggle to stay focused and complete tasks!
As a family, you could do a program like the Mayo Clinic offers online for free: https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/wellness/slim-your-screen-time
Or, you can create contests of who can cut down on their screen time the most during specific periods (one day, a weekend, during your family holidays). Some families create a no screens at the table rule, and have a handy basket where each member tosses their phone before sitting down for dinner (I would suggest a docking station; everyone knows their phone needs to be recharged, so why not think of those times as recharging for everyone?).I think having no phones the table is a good rule for going out and socializing as well; if it’s sitting there, we are tempted. Also, it kind of indicates that we think something more important than enjoying a drink or meal with a friend is going to happen at that moment. Others recommend a family charging station that everyone uses overnight to avoid having phones in the bedroom and promote good sleep habits.
1. Create a Family Media Plan to set up rules and expectations; you can start here for a guide.
2. Use your device or special apps to track and manage your screen time.
3. For smartphones: Change notification settings (my personal fave)
- Use Focus Mode to stay in control (airplane mode is also pretty effective and simple).
- Organize your layout and screen appearance; simply putting social media apps and other temptations into a folder can prevent that automated opening that can send us down a scrolling rabbit-hole fast; using grayscale also reduces the visual appeal of your screen and may reduce the amount of use – more info can be found here.
4. Increase activities that don’t involve screens; I’ve written before about the value of getting outside: physical activities that require the use of your hands can really reduce phone use (wall-climbing anyone? Pottery class?); in many studies, exercise and outdoor time mediated negative impacts of technology
